I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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