Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
