just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize