I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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