I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
