I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
