There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
