at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
