I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
