I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
