what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
