Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
