That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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