we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
