It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my shit smells like andre
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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