Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
