i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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