I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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