would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
