I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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