Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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