So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The air taste purple.
Randomize
