I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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