Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
