Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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