just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
