the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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