I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
