I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
