i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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