She announced her abortion via fbk
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
