I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
