At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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