Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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