is your mom at the bar?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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