watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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