There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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