oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
