Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
