That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
