What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
