Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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