are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
