So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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