Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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