Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
birth control should be required to get into college
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
