Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
