ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
