Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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