you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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