After last night, I could never be a politician.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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