I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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