my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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