Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
