I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
