Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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