The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He felt like a one man threesome
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
