as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
