The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
