The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
two words: eviction party
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They are going to name an STD after you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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