Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
