i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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