No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you had me at cake vodka
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
